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January 19, 2005
Break in the Cup
I am a big fan of David Wilcox's music but hadn't listened to it for such a long time until this past weekend when Bob put his Big Horizon cd in for a listen. Having time away from his music helped me to listen more closely this time and once again his songs started hitting deeply.
The one below in particular is so challenging to me. Too often I really want Bob to be my everything. He's a wonderful man and husband whom I love very much. Yet he's not my savior and he can't fill me the way I too often want him to. I can be so demanding of his time and energy and this song was what I needed to remind me that I'm broken and as much as Bob can try to fill me, he'll never be able to. Instead I have to run to Jesus, the spring of living water, to fill me. Jeremiah 2:13 says "My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water." This sin is really at the core of all of our sins, rejecting God and trying to do it ourselves. But we can't, we're broken and need to run to Jesus to fill us every day, otherwise it all just runs out. So read the lyrics below, or even better listen to the song. I know it will challenge you.
Break in the Cup
by David Wilcox
I try so hard to please you
To be the love that fills you up
I try to pour on sweet affection,
But I think you got a broken cup.
Because you can't believe I love you
I try to tell you that there is no doubt,
But as soon as I fill you with all I've got
That little break will let it run right out.
I cannot make you happy.
I'm learning love and money never do
But I can pour myself out 'til I'm empty
Trying to be just who you'd want me to.
But I cannot make you happy
Even though our love is true
For there's a break in the cup that holds love
Inside of you.
Now I begin to understand you
As you explain this fear you feel.
It's when you see me fall into that sorrow
it makes you doubt the love is real.
'Cause the lonely wind still blows through me
I turn away so can't see
But now how could I still be so empty
With all the love that you pour on me.
I guess you cannot make me happy
That's a money back guarantee.
But you can pour yourself out 'til you're empty
Trying to be just who I'd want you to be.
You cannot make me happy
It's just the law of gravity
And that break in the cup that holds love,
Inside of me.
So if you're tempted to rescue me
Drowning in this quicksand up to my neck
Before you grab my hand to save me
Why don't you ask me if I'm finished yet.
Because you cannot make me happy
Not when I'm empty inside of me
But you can pull yourself right in here with me
My misery'd love to have your company.
We cannot trade empty for empty
We must go to the waterfall
For there's a break in the cup that holds love,
A break in the cup that holds love,
A break in the cup that holds love,
Inside us all. Inside us all.
Posted by michellew at January 19, 2005 10:09 AM
Comments
I LOVE that song! (Reminds self to load DW CDs onto my iPod...)
Posted by: kristen at January 19, 2005 04:09 PM
For me, music helps calm the fight that wages between my head and my heart; and DW’s album helped push me out of a particularly bad funk in the winter of '94.
As Sara can attest to, I don't do well alone. This was evident during the four years I consciously and subconsciously pined for her. The whole album was great, but that fall - That's What the Lonely Is For, Break in the Cup and It's the Same Old Song (yes, that silly remake) did me in… I was bawling my eyes out.
Those songs, and subsequent conversations that emerged from them, helped pull back the veil on a mess of emotions – bringing some coherence to jumbled angst and confusion. By the spring of ’95 I had put aside a good deal of doubt and anxiety and took the plunge to see if Sara would have me back (and now we’re your goofy neighbors).
What I had battled then was the notion that I wanted my loneliness quenched through Sara. I had to realize that this loneliness was a pure and unending weakness; and it would remain whether or not I had a relationship with Sara. I had to be comfortable with that fact, and that my wife could never be the source of all my joy.
I knew then, as I know in my head now, that Christ is where peace and sustenance lay – but it doesn’t mean I live it out with great consistency. I still long for a love from Sara that she cannot give to fill a void that cannot be filled. I’m slowly coming to terms with this fact, and that I won’t see that void fully filled till I’m united with Christ. What I hope for is a marriage that can live these truths out – loving and supporting one another, and encouraging each other in our faith that Christ is our ultimate bridegroom.
Posted by: StelmoDad at January 26, 2005 12:49 AM